I remember my wife continuously asking me if I was sure I wanted to marry her. My response was of course. I love her beyond anything in this world. With that said I did tell her that I never wanted to lose what brought us together to begin with. The first three months of our initial relationship was spent talking on the phone. Not just an hour or two here, I’m talking every waking minute of our day was spent talking, texting, or facebooking each other somehow. Our relationship was built on a foundation of friendship that I have never experienced before. The communication between us is what I personally thrived on. I felt like this woman understood me like no one else in my life ever has. We bonded over secrets that only we knew about each other, cried over our losses and failures as human beings. She would become my first lesbian lover. She ultimately would be my first everything. Once she made the trip to Maryland where our relationship began, she made it a point to make sure I experienced everything about being in a lesbian relationship, as well as being a young mom in my 20’s. Robin was ultimately the first relationship that I had where the person actually wanted to date me. Nothing compares to the feeling of getting a dressed up and having the love of your life look at you like you’re the most amazing person they ever laid eyes on. It didn’t matter where we went because we were always the star of the show. Our adult outings at the bar always entailed singing and dancing. Dinner dates were about finding a restaurant or diner neither of us have been. Lunch dates were usually Sunday afternoon trips. There was a point in our lives where we worked third shift and every once in a while we went day drinking. There’s nothing like drinking a two or three pictures of margarita’s at 10am, at the local Mexican restaurant. If I’m honest these were my favorite times. I think the honesty and commitment came out during these times. It was a refresher on who we were individually and as a couple.
This brings me to my point why stop because of marriage?!! Shouldn’t being married make it more of a point to make sure you stay dating your spouse. Let’s face it life happens. Between kids, house work, jobs, and every other stress that comes your way, shouldn’t slowing down and reinforcing your friendship and need for one another become a priority. Without your spouse would the life your living be where it’s at this day? I love seeing older couples out and about. Holding hands and just enjoying each other’s time and self. Soaking up all the love and commitment they have for one and another. Those are the couples who get it. They learned there will be trials, and tribulations. They also learned that they would never succeed through those areas with out each other. In the hard times of life take your partner’s hand and make sure you reiterate what made you the couple that you are. Go out and experiencing the love that sometimes gets placed on the back burner because of life. Someone who loves you will never make excuses but they will always find the time for you. They will care about your needs as their partner. As you should with them. Spending too much time living your lives together in the mundane routine will only cause resentments and insecurities. There are too many things in life to do, even if you don’t have the financial resources to always go somewhere. It’s as simple as being creative and devoting time to each other. We as women especially need this. Being in a lesbian relationship I firmly believe it’s just imperative. We’re emotional creatures, and for the most part we need to feel that bonding and need from our partner.